It’s been a long few weeks catching up on the new season of FTS (or Full Throttle Saloon for those of you Google-ing this), forgetting a friends day of birth (sorry girl) and living in the stone age with a broken cell phone…but I’m back bitches! I am all caught up on my DVR, the card is in the mail and my phone is refurbished. I had several weeks of bitching and complaining about my boyfriends serious lack of cleanliness or my 19 year old co-worker thinking of herself as my superior and I couldn’t wait to flush it all out of my system and onto your computer screens, but it’s been so damn long I can’t remember why I was annoyed to begin with! There are plenty of things that annoy me….cars that are pink, 15 year olds, pinatas…but forgetting why I was annoyed in the first place has got to be #1. Josh likes to say that I bitch just to bitch, that I do it because I like to get my way….I like to respond to this with a long confused stare. It wouldn’t be called bitching if it were welcomed with open arms by the bitchee. And of course I do it because I like to get my way. I wouldn’t nag somebody to do something that wasn’t in my best interest. Nagging Josh to play a video game while the trash can is literally overflowing with red goo is the exact definition of an oxymoron. But at least he takes out the trash, the red goo literally makes me vomit.
But enough about the annoying nagging girlfriend in me and more about my
mansion apartment. I have neglected writing about it, but the never ending and always changing Barbie Dream Home of mine has not been neglected. The changes are minor, so minor actually that only I know or even care about them but still major enough for me to stare at and brag write about. By now you know I change my mind anywhere between 2 and 30 times a day about anything and everything. So when I was over things that were once gold and changed them to a bright green or shiny blue, I knew major changes were coming to our humble abode. Which reminds me, about my gold obsession… What was I thinking, that we lived in Dubais? At our apartment, the paint is cracking off of the walls, the neighbors speak Spanish (and spanish only) and every screen door has broken off of the track and is leaning against the patio walls. There are no marble pillars or mother of pearl bathroom tile, just pink carpet and plastic wooden frames. Gold was made to drape across my neck, poke through my ears and jingle on my wrists, not greet me at every inch of my apartment.
Anyways, it all started with the infamous dresser we had longed for so long. It sat in our room without knobs longer than we waited for it to arrive on our doorstep, which just gave me more time to need, ok want something different. I obviously couldn’t have the knobs be left plain (the DIY-nerd would not allow it) but I also didn’t want a Kindergarten cubby with a hodge podge of different colors (Josh would not allow it). But then I remembered that I was bored with our old (6 months) and gold living room dresser. And I had recently found all of my brightly colored acrylic paints….bazinga! I busted out my paint brush, channeled my inner Van Gogh and let the magic happen (and yes I just compared my amateur furniture painting to that of The Starry Night as if it were a MindFreak Vegas magic show).
Lime green knobs and I had a brand new chest that didn’t look like it belonged in my Grandmother’s Egyptian inspired condo. (I would like to say that wasn’t true, but she had tiger statues, monkey chandeliers and might as well have had mother of pearl tile. She wore Channel everything all day every day and had an all white room no one was allowed in…she would’v been proud of my Dubais inspired apartment).
And all I did was a good ol’ wife swap (with knobs not wives, obviously) and I got a brand new dresser out of it too!
Yes, to answer the question you are asking yourself right now….that is a 42” TV strategically placed in front of my mirror displays. I treated myself to some new knobs and Josh got himself a new TV the size of our “master” bedroom. That’s ok though, because the TV we had before was the size of our dinner plates. And I have plenty of other white walls that can be styled with mirrors.
I have lots of other projects on the horizon at the Hayham residence, giving the patio some colorful love and maybe get some use other than the lazy dog owner bathroom is definitely a high priority. But in the mean time I have an art store’s worth of paint products, a gallery wall that is in desperate need of the faces of our friends and family (only the attractive ones) and I keep busy by saving every glass jar I come across. Right now they’re decorating my counters
and housing my tulips
I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but I’m going to do something and it’s not going to be baking rainbow cupcakes.
Anyways, I’ll try not to let my love of reality TV shows about biker bars and rich women fighting over who has more plastic surgery get in the way of sharing my decor-journey with you all ever again…all 13 of you. That is of course until the new season of The Real Housewives of Orange County comes around (nope, still not ashamed).
So until then, as always…Happy Decorenting!