Storage and Murders and Bruises…OH MY!

FINALLY INTERNET! I’ve become accustom to living somewhat of an Amish lifestyle this past week, and the closest I’ve gotten to my Real Housewives fix is the screaming Vietnamese woman that lives next door. I think she’s in a long distance relationship that doesn’t seem to be working out. She also seems to eat raw fish…a lot.

Anyways back down the hall at the Hayham’s (Haynie/Branham residence) it is coming up on our 2 week- aversary at our apartment, and Josh had to make an impromptu trip back on home to Texas for the last 4 days, so I’m celebratin’ by my lonesome. I’ll miss the company and muscle of my sugar bear but the show must go on…and by show I do not mean the “Here Come’s Honey Boo Boo” type of show. I mean the I am home alone, in a brand new apartment that boxes are stuffed in as if it were a jalapeno popper, with 2 dogs that might as well be 2 infants, a box of only thriller and Star Wars DVDS and our microwave broke before my frozen smart meal for one was able to unfreeze type of show (since we will not have cable for 3 more days, I can finally star in my own reality show!). I know what you’re thinking, and I too think it’s the perfect screen play for a mass murder movie. At my parents’ house, I had strategically planned my escape route should an intruder with a chainsaw and baby doll mask choose my house to terrorize that night. As far as I am concerned every noise, creek and crackle is a sociopath who knows my very strong boyfriend is out of town and is therefore trying to murder me. These rational fears aren’t anything a little vino and organizing can’t help…or so I thought.

See it wasn’t the chance that a murderous man would break into my apartment and chop me up; it was the lack of unpacking, organizing and storage space in general that was, or should I say was not, going on! Not to mention how off balance I have been since Josh left. I should really have been more afraid of myself and my easily bruised and uncoordinated body. 1 broken bowl, 9 stubbed toes, 1 possible mild concussion and 2 severely bruised legs later and I have finally managed to organize one cabinet in my kitchen. It’s the only place in my house that isn’t chaotic and the stressed out designer nerd in me cannot stop staring at it.

Isn’t she beautiful?

But I want more! My “home” is a box filled with boxes, I’m lonely, broke (physically and financially) and I just watched the last episode of “The Office” Josh had on DVD…for the third time. I’m ready to relax in my beautifully decorated apartment living room and watch all these boxes burn on the patio.

We still don’t have a couch or a dresser, and the bookshelves my parents are so kindly giving us I am neither burly nor coordinated enough to move on my own. So the unpacking is more a shuffling of boxes from one side of the room to the other. This is mostly to feel productive while still sparing my sanity. And as if this cluster f- you- know -what wasn’t testing my patience enough, I am slowly recognizing that the storage space is sparse…or we just have too much crap…but I prefer blaming the lack of space. I hate to admit we have too many things we don’t need, especially in the closet, but if I want to stay sane I may have to downsize my collection of, well, everything.

Thinking that the shirt I haven’t worn in nearly 2 years could go and that the bins (literally bins) of clothes Josh hasn’t opened since high school wouldn’t be missed, I attempted going through our closet and other seamlessly useless items, and still space was not on my side. I have always loved to organize, even as a little girl I was demanding to re-do my bedroom 2 maybe even 3 times a year. But now, in my mid-twenty something’s, I am finding a whole new appreciation for “re-doing” things…and that maybe I don’t handle stress as well as I thought. How many glasses of wine a night is one allowed before being considered an alcoholic? Anyways, I quickly found another stress reliever (or at least a morning substitute for my glass of chardonnay).*NERD ALERT* Container Store made me feel happy, calm and content. It was as if the store had whispered “it’ll all be OK” upon my arrival. Everything, and I mean ev-er-y-thing, I needed was there. Things I didn’t even know I needed were there. It was a mentally calming, less crowded and more expensive version of IKEA. Roller cabinet organizers, spice shelves and miniature spice labels, hanging mug hooks, baskets of all shapes and sizes…YES PLEASE! I needed it all.

Like those indigestion commercials in which the food slaps whomever is trying to eat it, my wallet did to me when I was trying to use it. I walked away with just 3 magnets and 1 spice shelf, but took home hundreds of ideas (of course the do it yourself kind). Time, much like space, has not been on my side and my ideas are starting to overflow. Work and sleep were getting in the way of what I needed to accomplish. But if I was going to get this apartment done before our 1 year lease was up I was going to have to summon my inner Buddha, or race horse rather, to relax and get ‘er done! Of course I won’t be able to sleep comfortably or have my housewarming party until everything is exactly how I envision it to be, but at least I’ll be relaxed. As I’m sure Josh would excitedly agree, I may be over reacting (just a little bit). I mean it hasn’t even been a month, we don’t have all of our furniture moved, and I’ve been pretty much living in the Twilight zone without cable. Of course it’s overwhelming, stressful and giving me indigestion but it’s all apart of the process and slowly but surely things are starting to come together. At least I have pumpkin spice everything season to comfort me, not my thighs, but me. And once it starts to look less like a storage unit and more like an apartment I’ll be able to rest my eyes. 

 Happy Renting

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2 thoughts on “Storage and Murders and Bruises…OH MY!

  1. Damn Jenna! That was awesome!!!!! You have a career here, girl! And, we’re kinda neighbors! Congratulations!

  2. jannahay says:

    Thanks girlfriend! once everything’s done you’ll have to come over and we’ll wine and dine you!

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